Omg, i haven't been crying so much for the whole year until 10 minutes ago.

I woke up from the scariest nightmare i ever had and i am still feeling very creepy about it. )=

I kinda dream that my mum got very sick and (i have no idea why) my dad and this disgusting stepmother were in my house.

Apparently, since my mum was going to some hospital for permanent care (is there even smt like this in real life?), my dad took over the house and torture me really badly.

Worse, my brother ganged up with my dad and stepmum. They kinda lock me in my tiny room, confiscated all my savings and beat me up whenever they felt like it.

I had no one to turn to and the beatings were rly bad..
In my dream, not only will they starve me, i think they made me eat mouldy food and leftover curry from dunno where the fuck! FUCKING DISGUSTING!
And my dad, as usual, was the scariest person.. Despite me apologising profusely, he would just beat me up like crap... It really drives me crazy when i keep having numerous thoughts to murder him somehow. It's scary how i would sit in my tiny room and plot how to kill the entire family out there just to escape from all these torturings.
Apparently, i had no idea why i couldn't sue my dad for it and of course, i wasn't able to complain to my mum since that would probably drive her to her deathbed..

OMG, I WANTED TO DIE, CAN!!! Omg, really cannot stop crying..

Thank god it was just a nightmare.. You couldn't imagine how scary it was real-life!!!!!

OMG OMG OMG!!!

And when i woke up, i just wanted to give my mum a hug to make sure she was okay.
Not till when i heard her shouting at me for my lousy grades.
At 8.38am on a freaking sunday morning! WTF! Damn random!!

I think it's worse in real life because, at least, i felt closer to my mum in that dream.

I hate to admit that im sucker when trying to express my concern for my mum.
I care but i have zero idea how to bring the message across.

There isn't a day i wouldn't quarrel with her. It's always best we don't talk at all.
Afterall, we hardly meet at home. It's horrible..

Hai, everytime i wake up from such a dream, it only reminds me how alone i am in this life.
No real friends and no proper family members to rely on. Just me and myself.

And at this rate, i am NEVER going to get attached to a guy cuz im too afraid that he might be some violent sadist who will cheat my money and beat me up somehow..

In general, such dreams make me hate all men.

It's disgusting!!

Oh gosh. I need to consume my happy food.. Im hungry and emo while blogging this..

OK, im so going to watch doreamon on TV and eat cocopops with milk now. Probably, after that, i will feel perfectly normal once again!

Argh, just rmb there's tuition today and i need to work tmr!! SIANS~